New blog putting readers in stitches

TALES OF ‘fake’ £5 notes, missing socks, rogue dogs, seeing more than he bargained for and general clumsiness are proving a hit for one Stalybridge blogger.

Mike Milenko has always had a passion for the written word and had previously written rap records.

Mike Milenko

But his passion for jotting things down and penchant for ending up in unfortunate situations meant he did not stop there – and now The Marvellous Mishaps of Mike Milenko is attracting a growing fan base on Facebook.

“To be honest, it was other people who pointed me towards doing it,” admitted Mike, who lives on Gledhall Street.

“I’ve always been a fan of the written word, I’ve always loved storytelling and especially poetry, and that’s where it started.

“Loads of stuff always happens to me, I’m so clumsy and there’s been a lot of stupid, mad things happen, so I started telling people but with a little bit of a twist on it.

“Tales are slightly elaborated but they’re all based on truth. People were like, ‘I can’t believe this happened to you,’ so on some I’ve got photos to prove it actually did!”

Mike, 36, has been blogging since midway through the year after previously telling people what had happened to him through Facebook statuses for a number of years.

He sits down to compose a blog post and the words come flying out, although sometimes he has to cut passages so seven-year-old son Lucas, who attends Wild Bank Primary School, can read them.

And the community champion at Tesco Extra in Oldham admits one tale involving a bank note, a teenager and working at Tesco in Greenfield stands out.

Mike, who filmed and edited a viral video of staff and customers there singing and dancing to Pharrell Williams’ song Happy, added: “This kid handed me a note and I was like, ‘This is fake. I can’t accept this.’

“He left and I showed it to the security guard, as I explained it I was like, ‘Oh my God, it’s real. It had just been washed or something.’

“I ran after the lad but he started running too as he thought I was after him. It may sound like something you’d tell your mates in the pub but when I write it down, I make it into a story, something that’s gripping to read.

“Another one was from when I was a .com delivery driver. I took some trays into this guy’s kitchen and as he was putting them away, I was stroking his dog which was that excited it was urinating.

“I was like, ‘What’s your dog’s name, pal?’ He was like ‘What dog?’. He turned around, saw the dog and started chasing it out of the kitchen, it had followed us in and wasn’t his!

“All my stories end with me as the fall guy. I never come out on top. My colleagues at Tesco love it.”

You can read Mike’s blog on facebook

Mike has so far been blown away by the response to the blog but there is one judge who would not mince his words, his son Lucas.

He said: “This has come mostly becoming a dad and the things your kid gets up to and says. Lucas is a star and the stuff he does is fantastic.

“And he loves the blog, I think he’s my biggest fan. I don’t tell him all of the stories as there’s quite a lot I can’t tell him but what I do tell him, he finds funny.”

He added: “The response has been really good and has really surprised me. Loads of people have been sharing it. Things happen to me but I suppose I’ve got a good way of telling it.”

Read The Marvellous Mishaps of Mike Milenko at www.facebook.com/marvellousmishaps/

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EXTRACT FROM THE BLOG
While working in a supermarket, I was handed the most obvious forgery I have ever seen;

A crumpled and faded £5 note.

I smiled slightly as I looked at the 14-year-old lad who had handed it to me.

“This is fake!” I said as I eyed him suspiciously.

“Is it?” He questioned, emotionless and blank. A career criminal if I ever did see one.

“It is and I shall hand it to the authorities,” I warned in the most grown up voice I could muster.

“I’m afraid I cannot accept this note,” I continued, my tone smug and self-satisfied at not being caught out by this ruse.

He stood there, looking down at his shoes and then slowly walked away, defeated by my quick thinking and intellectual capacity.

I called the security guard over and showed him the note, explaining that it was the most obvious counterfeit note I had ever seen.

I began telling him why – the colour, the feel of it, the silver line that was running down the left side.
As I explained, I continued examining the note in my hands.

It was then with great surprise and more than a little mortification that I realised I was wrong, absolutely wrong.

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