Mystery poet laments Tameside Council as the worst in Britain

Words by Gary Carter

A STALYBRIDGE councillor was taken aback by what dropped through the letterbox of his home in Carrbrook.


Cllr Clive Patrick

Cllr Clive Patrick, who represents Stalybridge South, discovered an envelope containing a poem, but not a verse praising the area or the work the ruling Labour Party has done in it.

In fact, the work titled ‘Britain’s Worst Council’ was just the opposite – not that the Conservative representative was overly put out.

In it, it compares the authority to a ‘chocolate fireplace’, highlighting the amount of potholes in the roads and the lack of public toilet facilities.

Cllr Patrick said: “I agree with the sentiments in the poem completely.

“I am presuming that the poet lives locally to me in Carrbook and would like to thank he or she for the slightly unusual, but acceptable way of communicating with a councillor.

“However, if this poem is indicative of people’s beliefs in Tameside, why has another Labour councillor just been elected to represent the village and it’s surrounds?

“Why, I ask myself, don’t people react against Labour’s 39 years of policies represented in the poem and not keep on electing them?”

Cllr Patrick, who saw another Conservative, Liam Billington, win the Stalybridge South ward at the recent local elections, also took aim at the independents who stood, arguing they would not have the ability to bring change to the town if they ever get in.

He added: “You might say, ‘In Stalybridge we did have an alternative other than the Tories, the independents who promised so much without any hope or means of ever providing anything’.

“Where would the money come from to surface the roads, empty the bins, educate our children and redevelop Stalybridge.

“How would they get Tameside Council to agree to any of their plans?

“These problems would be the same as those of the Mossley Town Council, which unfortunately could not even stop Tameside Council from closing the town centre public convenience a couple of years ago.”

The Poem


Councillors get paid quite a few grand
So why is Tameside the worst in the land
Annually our bills they always increase
And all we get are holes in the streets

Part of our bill is for police I am told,
Who couldn’t catch anything, not even a cold
The roads are a mess, they are full of potholes
Looks like an invasion of bloody big moles

Do we need a Mayor and all his staff?
Someone somewhere is having a laugh
Public loos are hard to find
Tameside Council is one of a kind

Memorial gardens, go when you can
You’ll see one man working and three in a van
How do councillors earn their pay
When libraries and shops are closing each day?

The council tax bill is one of the highest there is
Nothing gets done, it’s a total abyss
These councillors make sure their pockets are full
All we get is a huge load of bull.

‘How good is the council?’ folk do say
As they look upwards and start to pray
The Council is certainly one of a kind
A chocolate fireplace comes to mind

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